Episode 21 - Books We Need: The 5 Love Languages
Brett and Jake start a new recurring series about books we need to read. In this episode, they discuss Dr. Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages and talk about the specific love languages and how life is better when our love tanks are full.
Key Points
Talking about difficult problems with a trusted friend can be helpful
Be careful of chronological snobbery
We can often love other people the way we like to be loved but that can doesn’t always help the situation
The 5 Love Languages are: words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch, gifts
Physical touch isn’t just about sex
The goal is to learn your spouse or friend’s love language so your care for them is better received and more meaningful
We are made to love and be loved. We all have a love tank (bucket) and when it’s full we are more likely to be our truest, fullest self
The Sacrament of Marriage is a sacrament of service
Love is a language to be communicated and you have to speak in a language that your spouse/friend can understand
For each of the love languages there is an potential negative vice that has to be guarded against
The “gifts” love language is an expression that “I thought of you” not about million dollar presents
The core recipe for love is to forget yourself and focus on the other
Discussion Questions:
What struck you from this episode?
If your spouse (or friend) showed you love that was meaningful what would that look like?
What are your two primary love languages?
What are your spouse’s/friends’ love languages?
Have you loved other people with your love language? How did that go?
Are you aware of your love tank? How do you know? What signs indicate your love tank is full/empty?
How full is your love tank these days? How full is your spouse’s/friends’?
How do you feel about reading this book with your spouse?
If you want to express love, what do you do?
While thinking about an overall healthy relationship, when you have you experienced feeling neglected? What did you want?
Resources:
Chronological snobbery is “the uncritical acceptance of the intellectual climate of our own age and the assumption that whatever has gone out of date is on that count discredited.” (C.S. Lewis)
C.S. Lewis on Chronological Snobbery (article)
